In today’s society, so much goes into the preparation for “the wedding.” Endless details and expenses seem to demand the engaged couple’s attention as they prepare for their big day. Everything must be perfect — guest lists, caterers, venues, musicians, photographers, bridal party attire and flowers. The list can go on and on.
What is many times missing from this grand plan? What will life be like after the big day? So much planning goes into the wedding itself, that what married life will entail once the bridal bouquet has wilted often doesn’t get enough attention.
However, here at St. Michael, we are blessed to have the Marriage and Family Life Ministry — under that umbrella is the Engaged Encounter Ministry, led by Karen and Scott Unger.
“Fr. Lio asked us 15 years ago to meet with engaged couples and review their FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication Understanding and Study)questionnaire responses,” Karen says. “This is basically a pre-marriage inventory couple report.”
This questionnaire covers subjects like Lifestyle Expectations; Friends and Interests; Problem-Solving; Readiness Issues; Finances; Religion and Spirituality.
“There is even more!” Karen says. “We cover their key problem indicators and share our marriage story with them as well. I feel as though all of us walk away knowing our fiancé/spouse just a little bit better after these get-togethers.”
To be married in the Catholic Church, engaged couples must attend a weekend retreat. In the past, the only retreat venue was on the Hilo side.
“Three years ago, Fr. Lio asked us to get trained to conduct an engaged retreat on the Kona side at St. Michael’s,” Karen says. “We have since held two weekend retreats here in Kona.”
The retreat presentation consists of clergy, and two other couples.
“Presenters from Oʻahu have joined Scott and I in the last two retreats,” Karen says. “We are now in the process of putting together our own team. Deacon Craig Camello and Pam Camello will now be our clergy couple. We are looking for another couple or couples to join us. Our upcoming retreat will be held on Sept. 13-14.”
For Karen and Scott, the covenant and Sacrament of Marriage is a core belief.
“Our goal in life as a married couple is to make sure our spouse makes it to heaven,” Karen says. “So many couples in our society today don’t understand the importance of committed lifelong relationships. Unfortunately, I think the high divorce rate has a negative impact on marriage — although studies show that marriage can foster greater life satisfaction and reduce stress.”
To learn more about the Engaged Encounter Ministry, contact Karen Unger at karenaliigas@gmail.com. To learn more about the Marriage and Family Life Ministry, contact the parish office at 808-326-7771.
Resources for a Happy and Holy Marriage | ForYourMarriage.org | An initiative of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops
